Nell Gribble

for a grandchild

Nana can’t be with you, but remember this…

When you are lonely, curl up your fingers
Feel my hand in yours…

When you are happy, look to the stars
See my shining eyes…

When you are sad, sit in the sun
Feel the warmth of my love…

When you need me, walk in the garden
See me everywhere…

Know that I am with you, always

~ Nana’s Corner ~

Cheryl Dalton

February 22, 2009

Happy Christmas?

I have been feeling pretty strange about Christmas this year. I mean this will be the first one without Nan. But I have been thinking about this a lot and came to a decision. In her own way, Nan loved Christmas. She always proudly displayed her Christmas Cards, keeping a count on how many she had, telling me on a daily basis the total so far. A wreath would always be hanging on her door. And a few little decorations placed carefully around her room. There would be Christmas lunches and Christmas parties. On New Years Eve she would stay up till past midnight, seeing in the year in the lounge with all her friends.

I wished she was here for Christmas this year. And then I realised just how selfish that was. Last Christmas we all went to see her in the morning. She was pleased to see us all there together; even Matt came with us which put a twinkle in her eye. We didn’t stay long. 3 over excited kids and a baby were tiring her out quickly. I remember kissing her goodbye and brushing away a tear as I left. I knew that this would be her last Christmas. She went out for lunch and although I never went she was described as being in pain the whole way through the meal. She ate hardly anything. And as I remember how she looked that Christmas morning, the pain in her eyes and the tiredness on her face, how DARE I wish she was here. How could I wish her to be here when she was suffering like she was? I hate myself for wishing she was here, but hate myself for knowing that for her, it is best that she isn’t. Whichever way I look at it ~ I feel horrible.

And as I look around me, at the world preparing for another Christmas, the decorations starting to shine out brightly, the songs playing loudly, Children singing happily I realised something. Christmas WILL go on without her. And what I do with that is up to me. I can spend this Christmas feeling sad and lonely. Missing her and wishing she was here. Remembering Christmas’s gone by and the happy times we shared. I can distance myself from Christmas. I can make it painful and sad for my children, as they watch me hurt. Or I can make the effort to have a really happy Christmas, full of laughter, excitement & fun. I can sing with the kids, decorate the tree, write letters to Santa and make it truly magical for them. And I know without a shadow of a doubt what she would want me to do. She would want to look down and see us all having a blast. She would want to hear laughter ~ to see smiles.

So, I have made a rule. No tears. No crying. No being sad. (Today doesn’t count because this is hard to write). I am going to do my best to make this a Christmas that she would be proud of. And when I think of her, I will try to smile and remember the happy times. How happy she made me and how much she cared.

Being sad will change nothing. And although I won’t be able to see her this year, she will still be there with me. She always is.

Amanda Bowden (Granddaughter)

December 24, 2008

My Nan

The world became a poorer place on 22nd Feb 2008 because a truly amazing person left it. My heart longs for you. I miss your warmth, your love, your support. I miss your smile. I miss our chats. I miss l laughing with you. I miss playing Bingo with you. I miss doing your shopping. I miss so much.

So many things remind me of you.

One day I will get to see all those things that I miss. Until then, Sweet Dreams my Darling.

Amanda Bowden (Granddaughter)

December 19, 2008

A perfect Mum

You were always there. My best friend. My world. And losing you has left such a huge hole. You will always be with me. God Bless you and keep you safe.

Jill Hoath (Daughter)

December 19, 2008